Well the gay community had a bad habit of ceding the floor to the people who set out to be as offensive they could manage and their favorite tactic for doing so was to do everything possible to verify the ugliest stereotypes about us. Self-appointed representatives went before audiences and said yes, we do recruit children. Men whose clothes were intended to inform the world what they liked to think about when they masturbated were the face of gay America.
Not the gay cops, firemen, or people in committed relationships ... but guys in sadosmasochism gear. we let them appoint themselves as our public representatives. And issued little scolds about the awfulness of value judgments.
Please enlighten me, in what settings are "cis" and "trans" useful distinctions? It's a serious question. Because from where I sit, very far off the grid, the only purpose of this distinction is the rage and hostility mentioned in your opening post in this discussion.