There are a lot of people in the USA, and I am not one of them, who would sneer at your response with something about having not children being a selfish choice based on “inconvenience.” I have little tolerance for this kind of scolding but as long as people are doing it, I don’t mind running with it, and, yes! Having children is a monstrous inconvenience!

I’ve been through counseling for anger management and other emotional issues and probably the greatest revelation I ever had was when I heard the words

I want a life of my own

coming out of my own mouth. It was one of the most important moments of my life and the rest of the day was suffused with wonder, a new world.

The topic wasn’t having children; I’m gay but lots of gay men are fathers, I had chosen to remain childless long before I came out if only to not contribute to the burden of humanity that is driving the nonhuman world extinct.

But I deserve to have choices. I would rather read books and play my guitars than care for a child for half my life. Yes I’m depriving the gene pool of my high-IQ genes but I’m also sparing it my maladjustment and anguish.

Most people don’t contribute anything to the world except excrement anyway. I can imagine a child who makes great scientific advances but then I see too many who just end up putting firecrackers in animals’ mouths and getting bailed out of juvenile hall. I will die childless, so will my sister, and that is the end of the line.

American Software Developer living in Vietnam. Classical musician (guitar, woodwinds), weightlifter, multilingual, misanthrope • XY

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