One of the factors that led to your decline and panic attacks was being dumped by your boyfriend, yet in your article you unhesitatingly advise dumping friends with negative outlooks.

Ponder this please.

My best friend of four years dumped me as a friend with no warning, blocking me on phone and everywhere else. OK I was heavily into what he repeatedly called "gloom and doom" and I still am but had he sat me down and discussed it with me I could have made the changes in myself I have made in the last year, tamping down the anger, letting others talk.

I don't think I need to tell you that this kind of rejection hurts.

One insight that has seriously changed my dealings with others is the realization that we are all hurting. A projection of cheerfulness is at least as likely to be a defense as it is to be genuine. When Nietzche wrote

All men lead lives of quiet desperation

he was onto something.

Anyway I am most guilty of your first point; I don't care about the latest shiny object or popular whatever (and I find this to be unbearably shallow in others) but I can't stop buying books and music.

At least now it's mostly digital and doesn't take up space.

Thanks for your article.

American Software Developer living in Vietnam. Classical musician (guitar, woodwinds), weightlifter, multilingual, misanthrope • XY

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