Oh, I absolutely am not kidding. Agile and scrum are profligate sources of interruption; agile is nothing but new names for existing processes plus more meetings; scrum is little BUT more meetings, and in both cases they are recurring meetings, which are are almost always wastes of time.

Interruptions destroy concentration and eliminate that premier concentration we used to call Flow, and TDD seeks to compensate for that loss by shifting emphasis to testing since people who can’t concentrate write lousy code with a lot more bugs. Jettison all that junk, go back to private offices and one meeting per week, with dedicated QA teams and watch your productivity and code quality soar.

I know what I’m talking about. I’ve worked in Flow-enabling workplaces and I’ve worked in the shit-circuses we have now. I won’t do the latter anymore. I won’t refer to usage scenarios as “stories” and I won’t refer to incomplete work as “technical debt” and I won’t write tests before I code, and I will get more done than any six on your “team,” and of higher quality too.

And I won’t do a 90 minute commute to get to an idiotic “morning scrum” that is just a renamed status update that can be done in email,

You are adrift in an ocean of liquified bullshit and don’t even know it.

Read the articles under my name, TDD, Flow, What Happened, Unit Tests, it’s all detailed in there.

Have a nice weekend yourself. I’ll be working on the Berg Sonata on my guitar, and I do all my work from home, where there are no foosball tables.

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American Software Developer living in Vietnam. Classical musician (guitar, woodwinds), weightlifter, multilingual, misanthrope • XY

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