I wouldn’t last a day in an open office, and if I had to attend a sprint retrospective I would either leave in handcuffs or on a stretcher, maybe both.

“Let’s spend the next three hours discussing what we just learned about teamwork”

I have a better idea. Let’s not.

Whoever came up with this idea of software as a social endeavor should be given a mob beating. It is just so violently wrong.

I saw the last year of Microsoft’s commitment to the interruption-free workplace; it reappeared in some groups and at some other companies but the trend has been monotonically in the wrong direction, and now we have all this scrum horseshit with the ceremonial meetings for three or more hours every day.

And when nobody is getting any work done, then hold another meeting to figure out why.

I’m out. Remote only, WFH only. I haven’t worked onsite since 2010. I’ve moved into technical writing too because that’s more solo by nature, and the jobs are easier to get, because having grown up on channel surfing and games, nobody can read, much less write.

American Software Developer living in Vietnam. Classical musician (guitar, woodwinds), weightlifter, multilingual, misanthrope • XY

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