I try to go one step further, or, I should say, one step fewer.

I’ve had anger problems my whole life. The fact that the anger was usually justified was less important than the fact that it harmed me. Being angry harmed me.

So rather than trying to reduce the expression, I try, and I try hard, to not get angry in the first place.

There’s a certain pleasure in being angry, and it’s a kind of positive feedback. I finally learned to break the feedback loop; I’d get angry but I wouldn’t review it and review it, I would let it die down. Better.

Now I try not to get angry in the first place. Annoyed, OK, but not enraged. It’s just done me too much damage.

I live in Vietnam. And until the pandemic closed everything I taught English at a language school. Lobby of the building has two ACs, you can’t work here without AC, it’s just too hot, even at night. MOST students walking into the building prop the door so it stays open. They don’t think (period) that there are air conditioners running. This infuriates me. Close the goddamn door.

I don’t know if or when I will be going back there but when I do I won’t try to stop myself from closing the door but I won’t let myself get worked up over it.

Anger is wearying.

Written by

American Software Developer living in Vietnam. Classical musician (guitar, woodwinds), weightlifter, multilingual, misanthrope • XY

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