I live in the same world you do. My perception, amply reinforced, is that the people you describe use shocking terms for the attention it brings them, the seeking of attention never far from the enclave society. The wanton invention of neologisms has been tiresome since the earliest days of "phallocentrism" and "heteronormativity," and before that "womon" and "womyn."
"Genderqueer." I mean, come on. These people need to grow up. "Cisgender." As though “transgender" is 50% of the population. All this is stupid and as designations of identity, clearly desperate.
I'm gay. I'm not "genderqueer." I'm not "LGBTQIA+." The pronoun to refer to me is "he."
You and your friends want to play these games and pretend that despite the accelerating normality of ordinary gay people that you're still "special," knock yourselves out.
But don't call me a nigger.