I like your title. You make good points.
I regard agile as a fad, along with TDD and all the rest, and I can't wait until software goes back to actual work. But that would require a new generation that is able to concentrate, and for now it seems focus has left the building. In my early days we read Donald Knuth; the kids now read Stack Overflow, actually they skim Stack Overflow because they've grown up with channel-surfing and games and they can't concentrate.
If i had to attend a sprint retrospective I would leave either on a stretcher or in handcuffs.