0) buzz words, as you said: agile, scrum: we follow fads and interrupt you with tons of meetings

1) pair programming: the interview is over

2) TDD/unit tests: you won’t be able to write good code because we interrupt you so much so you’ll write stupid useless tests to make up for it

4) team standards: nobody can read the code so we want all of it to be uniformly illegible

5) team player: your coworkers are jerks

6) “How are you today! We are the fastest-growing recruiting agency in the world!”: Indians. We found you with ATS and we are here to waste everyone’s time. We have not read your CV at all.

American Software Developer living in Vietnam. Classical musician (guitar, woodwinds), weightlifter, multilingual, misanthrope • XY

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