0) buzz words, as you said: agile, scrum: we follow fads and interrupt you with tons of meetings
1) pair programming: the interview is over
2) TDD/unit tests: you won’t be able to write good code because we interrupt you so much so you’ll write stupid useless tests to make up for it
4) team standards: nobody can read the code so we want all of it to be uniformly illegible
5) team player: your coworkers are jerks
6) “How are you today! We are the fastest-growing recruiting agency in the world!”: Indians. We found you with ATS and we are here to waste everyone’s time. We have not read your CV at all.